Reflections for Mother's Day
Being a mother is both challenging and rewarding at the same time. It's full of excitement, struggle, joy, exhaustion, and everything in between. This Mother's Day the owners of High Country Doulas and a team member reflect on the good, the bad, and the ugly of their own parenting experiences.
Samantha Lee Wright shares her highest and lowest parenting moments:
“I can remember my lowest moments in parenthood being the early months being home full-time with my son. While I loved him dearly, it was just so much! So much change so fast. The loss of independence and autonomy for me as a person hit me hard. I typically spent those early months finding things to do in town so that I could be around other moms whenever possible, like The Playhouse, the Tot Lot, or connecting with other moms through walking groups. That helped a lot! But being home all day just the two of us was sometimes a huge struggle for the extroverted me. That’s one of the reasons I love being a postpartum doula so much. I love being a companion for new moms during that first year transition into parenthood that, for many, can be an emotional and psychological roller-coaster.
My best highlights by far are those endless snuggles and intimate moments I have with my kids. My daughter, Layla, is turning three soon, yet she still wants to just sit in my lap and snuggle all day. I can NEVER have enough snuggles! Those moments of such joy and love make me so happy that I could just burst! I hope they never stop wanting hugs....although I know one day they’ll be fewer and farther between.”
Owner Samantha Lee Wright with children August and Layla
Allison Rollans shares her insights of raising her three children:
“On this Mother’s Day, as my oldest enters her third decade, I look back at the days when my three young children clamored into the van to their prospective car seats and I safely buckled them in. Addie, my oldest would always assist with her siblings if needed or tell them how to do it. She felt secure in her role as leader of the pack and often tried to take a role in ‘directing the show’. She also loved to enroll her siblings and cousins in theater or make believe. She still loves children and taking a leadership role.
When I think back to that Mother’s Day when she was born and I became a mother I often think that it was she who taught me as much as I her. If we as mothers know anything, it is that we learn a lot about ourselves through parenting. These sweet beautiful babies demand so much of us that it’s not hard to be stretched to our fullest and thus our “not-so-nice” side. When we get to the other side of those times we can be sure that we are changed. And if we are open to it, each day as a parent we blossom. I know for better or worse, that I would not be the same person without my children.”
Owner Allison Rollans' family: Lemuel, Addie, Greg, and Alden
Addie playing with her cousins
“When I think about my hard times of mothering I always come back to some wisdom shared with me by a friend when my first son was 7 months old and we were still working hard to figure out what it meant to be a family. She said “It doesn’t get easier, it just gets different”. I find this to be so true, as my children grow out of one challenge and into another. But there is ease in hitting the same challenges again and again with consecutive children: I can handle tantrums more easily with my second child. I know how to ask for what I need more easily with my third.
The most challenging time of my parenting journey was when my oldest son was nearly 3 and my daughter was born. The leap from 1 to 2 children felt huge for me, and I’d never had a 3 year old before so I didn’t know that his testing limits and tantrums were normal 3 year old behavior. I felt guilty for being frustrated with my son and guilty because I couldn’t give my newborn daughter my full attention.
My favorite mothering phase is between 1 and 2 years old, when my babies are still babies, but are also learning to talk and needing me a little less. I can more easily step away to work or take care of myself as they gain independence. We can explore the world together with their wide fascination and awareness, and we are more solid in routines at this time. But at the end of the day, a 1 year old is still a snuggly, sweet baby in my arms with a head that has traces of those newborn pheremones if I sniff hard enough.
Right now I have a 6 year old, a 3 year old and a 4 mos old and each one has it’s own challenges and charms. My 6 year old keeps me on my toes, as he is always in the newest, wildest territory. When my first was an infant it felt confusing and restrictive but now I find ease in parenting an infant the 3rd time around: he naps frequently, I can produce all he eats, and he doesn’t talk back yet!”
Lis with her children - Malcom, Eve, Theo
What are your greatest and toughest mom moments? Share in the comments below!
Happy Mother's Day!